Welcome to Doing It, a column where sex educator Varuna Srinivasan explores the deep connections between sex and emotions. This month, they speak with experts and people who have sex in public about why it can be such a thrill.
The words “having public sex” tend to spark visceral reactions: disgust, excitement, or maybe a little bit of both. If it sounds scandalous to you, that’s probably because you’re picturing having penetrative sex in public—a naked couple writhing around on a beach towel or getting freaky in the bushes at the park. And while those things are, indeed, public sex, the act can also include other sexual activities.
Truth be told, most of us at some point have expressed our “love” in public, whether it be adrenaline-fueled French kissing on the dance floor at a club or a quick hand job in the parking lot. Depending on where you live, laws prohibiting public sex can encompass public displays of affection, exhibitionism, dogging, cruising, and voyeurism. Niki Davis-Fainbloom, a sex educator, defines public sex as “any sexual activity that takes place in a location accessible to the general public, where others might witness the act, and which exceeds the cultural norms of public displays of affection (PDA). As the naughtiness is inherent to the definition, for some folks sneaking away to make out in public can be defined as public sex.”
Recently, this type of PDA made headlines—and possibly your FYP—when a video featuring two people fooling around under a blanket in a public park (they were quickly dubbed the NYC blanket couple) went viral. While it wasn’t clear what they were up to (they could have been wrestling), their brazenness and casual nonchalance as they romped around under a gray fuzzy blanket elicited a range of reactions, ranging from amusement to displeasure. It’s unclear if they got arrested for their unusual approach to PDA, but at least one video shows them coming out from under the blankets looking completely unfazed.
Some couples may engage in public sex simply for the kinky thrill of it all. But there are also so-called “third places”—safe, public spaces specifically created for having casual sex amongst a group of other people—that are especially common in the queer community.
While laws around public sex have existed in some form since the Victorian era, legal structures were strictly standardized across the country in the 20th century, namely around the 1980s, as an effort to control the HIV epidemic. These laws often disproportionately targeted the LGBTQ+ community, leading to increased scrutiny and regulation of public sexual behavior.